Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and all about loving SRK
In the FRIENDS episode ‘The Last One,’ as Erica goes into labour, Monica and Chandler discover they’re having twins — a boy and a girl. “Now we have one of each,” exclaims Chandler. The couple’s long wait to become parents had finally come to an end. Their family, one could say, was finally ‘complete’.
Closer home in India, the government’s decades old family planning campaign emphasised on ‘Hum Do. Humaare Do,’ with the visual being that of a mother, a father, a daughter and a son. Several print ads for Life Insurance Corporation of India (LIC) too, feature a daughter and a son. The point being — a perception that a daughter and a son make for a seemingly perfect family.
In Shah Rukh Khan’s movie trajectory since 1992, he has almost always played an only child, with just one surviving parent, or adoptive parents, or no parents. I once wrote about how he is the ideal onscreen son — where I tied it back to him losing his parents before he struck it big. The bond he forms with his onscreen parents — biological or adoptive — is beyond compare.
Take for instance, Swades (2004), where playing the character Mohan Bhargav, and true to his name, SRK playfully closes Kaveri Amma’s (Kishori Ballal) eyes, reciting “Atkan batkan dahi chatokan/ Tu Yashoda, main hoon Mohan.” Those tears of reunion, especially from Kaveri Amma, are genuine.
Movies such as Darr (1993) and Anjaam (1994), where he plays deplorable men, see him meet a deserved end, and with zero family members present to shed any tears.
His debut movie Deewana (1992) has him play an only child with a single surviving parent with whom he has less than friendly relations. In Aziz Mirza’s Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman, released in the same year, Raju travels from Darjeeling to Mumbai, determined to make it as a civil engineer. In Chamatkaar (1992) too, Sundar travels from his village to Mumbai, with the sole aim of building a school in his village. A job in the big city will help him realise his late father’s dream.
I suppose there is something about Shah Rukh Khan that writers don’t always give him the picture perfect family. It’s almost as if they’re afraid. ‘What if this family breaks up?’ It’s also kind of hard to complain when such movies are successful.
Baazigar (1993) could have given SRK a picture perfect family. After all, he had loving parents and a darling younger sister to dote on. But this family perished shockingly early when we see the heartbreaking deaths of Ajay Sharma’s father and younger sister, sending his mother into a state of permanent shock and fueling his desire to avenge his family.
In a delightful break from the norm, Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani (2000) had Ajay Bakshi’s biological parents hale and hearty, with the occasional sarcasm and disappointment from his father, but Bakshi Junior has no siblings. Director Aziz Mirza chose not to give SRK any siblings or a father in Yes Boss (1997). Reema Lagoo plays his ailing, loving single mother who is forever proud of her son Rahul.
The blockbuster Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995) that ensured SRK became the undisputed king of romance saw the only child in him being brought up by a single dad.
Even Karan Johar, who has unabashedly and frequently proclaimed his love for SRK and waxed eloquent about the actor’s eyes, didn’t give him those families in movies where he directed the superstar. Beginning with his directorial debut Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) — lonely only child to single mom; Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (2001) — sentimental adopted son with younger brother; Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna (2006) — miserable only child to single mom; My Name is Khan (2010) — sort of estranged from younger brother and doted on by single mom [who also dies].
On an episode of Koffee with Karan, SRK quotes Nida Fazli, “Kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahaan nahi milta/ kahin zameen, kahin aasmaan nahi milta.”
He then goes on to say that he doesn’t know how to make friends or even when he does make friends, he doesn’t know how to maintain friendships. It did seem odd to hear this. After all, one can imagine that SRK has everything going for him.
Among the movies where I could see the muqammal jahaan being offered to SRK include Pardes and Swades, and I love that his characters were named Arjun and Mohan. Arjun and Mohan both live in the US and eventually move back to India — presumably for the women they adore. Amrish Puri is his adoptive father in the former and Kishori Ballal is his nanny in the latter. It’s his love for these parental figures that makes his characters do or not do certain things. I have assumed that Arjun moves back to India to be with Ganga, instead of taking her to the ‘dreaded’ Ummericka in Pardes, and particularly, because this movie was released in 1997 — India’s 50th year of Independence.
SRK was named Arjun in yet another movie — the blockbuster Karan Arjun (1995), where his character had to be reborn as Vijay to avenge his and his brother Karan’s death and their mother’s humiliation. Their dead dad didn’t even have a speaking role in this Rakesh Roshan-directed rebirth saga.
The world soon entered the new millennium, but SRK would yet remain away from a ‘picture perfect’ family. Mohabbatein (2000), Kal Ho Na Ho (2003), Main Hoon Na and Veer-Zaara (both in 2004)…neither movie took SRK closer to a family that one dreams of.
Even Coach Kabir Khan moved out of his family home in Old Delhi with his single mom after being cruelly accused of being a traitor in Chak De! India (2007). He waited, and waited, and waited — with his patience and coaching winning him not only the Women’s Hockey World Cup, but also the love that he yearned for from his country. The return to Old Delhi with his mother was most poignant.
We also saw liquor don Raees (2017) in the eponymous movie being raised by single mom Amina who taught one core rule of life to her son — ‘Koi dhanda chhota nahi hota, aur dhande se badaa koi Khudaa nahi hota.’
And then there are movies like Dil To Pagal Hai (1997) and Pathaan (2023), where we know nothing about the lead character’s family. Jawan (2023) had our only child superstar lose a parent in his childhood, brought up by a loving ‘Kaveri amma,’ only to reunite with an aged dad when he’s well into his adulthood.
There is indeed something about SRK’s movie trajectory that makes filmmakers truly wary of giving him the ‘picture perfect’ family. And maybe that is also why SRK searches for love everywhere, and always ends up with a lot more than he could imagine.
The picture perfect family is somewhat reflected in Shah Rukh Khan’s personal life. He has two sons and a daughter. Gauri, his wife, has a brother. SRK himself is the younger brother to his older sister Shehnaz. He only doesn’t have his parents around. It perhaps then makes sense that he calls the Kundan Shah-directed Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa (1994) his favourite.
After all, Sunil’s biological parents are both alive, and his younger sister Nikki, his partner in crime, alone shared his heartbreak when Anna chose to marry Chris. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa also remains the only movie where SRK has a picture perfect family. The movie earned him the ‘Best Actor — Critics’ award at the 39th Filmfare Awards.
As the movie completed three decades, SRK posted on X, ‘I really believe this film is the sweetest warmest happiest film I have done. I see it and miss everyone involved in the film especially my friend and teacher Kundan Shah. To the whole cast and crew thank u and love u all.’
I would like to believe that SRK’s life has been dominated by this yearning for the family that he had growing up. And that is why I feel he personifies a lovely doha by Kabir.
साईं इतना दीजिये, जामे कुटुंब समाये । मैं भी भूखा न रहूँ, साधू न भूखा जाए ।
Saii’n itna dijiye, jaame kutumb samaaye/ Main bhi bhookha na rahun, sadhu na bhookha jaaye.
Kabir says, “O God, give me just enough to keep my family comfortable, such that I don’t sleep hungry and the saints and sadhus seeking alms at my door also don’t leave hungry.”
SRK has received and continues to receive abundant love from his fans, his well wishers, his diehard followers, and in return, he ensures he showers them with an endless stream of wit, of warmth, of unconditional love, of himself. The muqammal jahaan, the zameen, the aasmaan, are all for him and are all his.
